> But it's understandable given how little our culture can even acknowledge the value of honorable and confident submission.
That's because outside of very specific contexts, "honorable and confident submission" doesn't exist.
Yes, respectful power differences in otherwise mutually beneficial relationships naturally exist, whether those relationships are platonic, professional, romantic, or very concretely in the context of activities like BDSM. These are, however, characterized by clear limits and boundaries, and a mutual agreement about the benefit of the relationship, including the power difference.
But social subjugation is not the same thing. It's about being disempowered in situations where there is no trust relationship that puts boundaries on the exercise of that power against the disempowered. For example, it's a job interview where someone's abilities are cast in doubt because their interviewer perceives their "princess" appearance or mannerisms.
That people conflate the two very distinct scenarios is baffling. The difference between them is quite simply a huge gulf of trust.
Moreover, by conflating the two, we delegitimize relationships that do involve respectful power differences, and destroy the mutual benefits that they can create. I also agree that the destruction of trust is central to this process.
That's because outside of very specific contexts, "honorable and confident submission" doesn't exist.
Yes, respectful power differences in otherwise mutually beneficial relationships naturally exist, whether those relationships are platonic, professional, romantic, or very concretely in the context of activities like BDSM. These are, however, characterized by clear limits and boundaries, and a mutual agreement about the benefit of the relationship, including the power difference.
But social subjugation is not the same thing. It's about being disempowered in situations where there is no trust relationship that puts boundaries on the exercise of that power against the disempowered. For example, it's a job interview where someone's abilities are cast in doubt because their interviewer perceives their "princess" appearance or mannerisms.
That people conflate the two very distinct scenarios is baffling. The difference between them is quite simply a huge gulf of trust.