Some of your points are very true, but you should perhaps give a second try to VsCode because most of the features you describe are now available in VsCode or available in very common and popular VsCode extensions.
You need to install these extensions but that's the way it is designed, and a small JSON file is enough to have the extensions recommended in a given project.
> most of the features you describe are now available in VsCode or available in very common and popular VsCode extensions.
The question is: which extensions are those? And do they work?
With IDEA all this is just bundled. And you reach for extra extensions for, well, extra stuff that's no core functionality. With VS Code I've found it's a glorified text editor that you have make work, maybe, and unreliably.
You need to install these extensions but that's the way it is designed, and a small JSON file is enough to have the extensions recommended in a given project.