You chose to have an affair with a married man. Stop torturing everybody from your friends, therapist, readers, etc with your ridiculously overdeveloped rationalizations.

So you chose to have an affair with a married man. Pay attention: that's not a romance, nor a relationship, it's an affair. It went poorly. Big surprise. Now what exactly is it that you want? Sympathy? To pseudo-philosophize about it? Just take responsibility for your bad choice, a thing you should have done from the start.

The whole thing brings to mind the saying "you have to pretty smart to be this stupid" and "you can't con a honest man".