I have a quasi-HOA that has something to do with the county extending public sewer/water here a few years ago. But it's like the federal government during the wild west era. They keep to the "nice" side of the neighborhood, and don't hassle us out here on the frontier. The house in front of mine hasn't had siding up for the better part of a year.
My parents live in a real HOA and it's miserable. Lawyers had to get involved recently when they got into a fight with the HOA over cutting down trees on their own property.
I do understand hating your parents' HOA, I don't get lacking the perspective to imagine a world where someone gets along with it. Sending a Christmas card to your neighbors isn't bootlicking if you like them.
I guess you don't like your HOA and you're projecting.