A Russian and an American get on a plane in Moscow and get to talking.
The Russian says he works for the Kremlin and he's on his way to go learn American propaganda techniques.
"What American propaganda techniques?" asks the American.
An engineer is messaging with his boss on Slack after hours. The boss says "My brother is in the hospital and needs money for his surgery!" The engineer asks "What are you gonna do?" and the boss responds "Well, he is family..." The engineer responds "You're gonna make him come in on weekends??"
Russian and Ukrainian are walking on the street and they both spot $100 bill on the sidewalk. Russian grabs it and says "Let's split like brothers!". And Ukrainian says: "No! Let's split 50:50"
That probably refers to the fact that poopulation-wise, Belarussians, Ukrainians and Russians are split like Vanyar-Noldor-Teleri (and have physical appearance differencies not unlike those three)
One more classic story in the same category of humour:
Some poor downtrodden men in Leningrad during the height of the Cold War have been hearing about all the wonderful jobs, weather, and food in Siberia. They are eager to move there but they are wary that it might be a trick, and that once there they won’t be allowed to leave. They agree that one of them should go first and write a letter concealing a secret message back to his comrades in Leningrad. If the letter is written in black ink, then life in Siberia is excellent and the others should come. But if it’s written in red ink, then what they’ve been told is all lies.
Soon they get a letter from the comrade who volunteered to be the first to go to Siberia. It’s in black ink. They eagerly read his glowing report about life in Siberia, the good jobs, comfortable weather, and bountiful food. Their friend finishes his letter by mentioning that there’s just one thing he hasn’t been able to find: red ink.
A story heard years ago by an acquaintance, of Armenian descent:
After WW II, the Soviet Union urged former residents to return. One family member, with wife and children decided to take them up on the offer. He did not really believe that he could write candidly about conditions, and so they agreed that he should send a picture. If he was standing up, things were well, and the rest of the family should consider returning. If he was sitting down, things were no good, and the rest of the family should remain where they were.
When they received the picture, he was lying down.
I collect documentary films. “Hammer & Tickle” (2007) is one of my white whales. Been trying to track it down for years without success. Anyone know where a copy can be bought or downloaded?
>[article author] also came across a wonderfully overwritten PhD thesis by the Stanford anthropologist Seth Benedict Graham: A Cultural Analysis of the Russo-Soviet Anekdot (anekdot is the Russian word for a political joke).
I heard one that was circulating after the fall, "Everything they told us about Communism was a lie, but everything they told us about Capitalism was true."
It cannot be overstated how valuable it is to read Karl Marx’s later work. Among so many other things, he condemned revolutionary efforts in Russia because he viewed capitalism as a necessary stage of progression.
The Russian Revolution was an outcome of many decades of events and revolutionary activities, which were hotly debated among dissidents and activists for many decades before that.
How does this punish people who managed to escape? It's not like the neighbourhood snitches and apparatchiks were the real victims, surely? This isn't even about regional partisanship. The article itself says these jokes provided comfort and enabled the participants in what was the most objectively evil system since Robespierre's terror and Leopold of Belgium's African colonialism. They're funny, but they normalize the oppression by demoralizing people. The one thing you're not supposed to tolerate or offer any quarter or sympathy to is this specific urge, which arguably is managing to surface again. And if one isn't actively against it, what could one be for, really?
1. You're not supposed to be actively proud of what people were doing during communist rule. Just take a note of facts and move along.
2. However, you seem to be in position of so much privilege that your opinion is worthless and is a disgrace.
A whole country cannot "escape". A whole country also does not consist solely from "neighbourhood snitches and apparatchiks". A country and its general population is the victim.
You make it sound like it's so easy to fix a dysfunctional society. Go fix zoning laws and housing affordability. Or the fact that incarcerated people are charged for the privilege of being behind bars. This assuming you're from the USA.
You don't just move along and forget. A functional society is one that makes sure it never happens again, or here. It may seem like privilege in the context of a sophomoric critical theory, but here in the west we call it freedom. The entire communist system was designed to liquify any moral clarity that would pose resistance to it, and it is as objective an evil as racism, which we all have the imperative to confront. For this reason it deserves the very same level of confrontation. The best thing about these opinions that one might say are worthless and disgraceful is that, I get to have them. And in exchange for making them constructive to discourse and entertaining, I also get to present them in a civil and thoughtful form in open debate.
The jokes in the article were funny, but to accept them as comforting normalization of the horrors they were a coping mechanism for does not do justice to the targets of the system that produced them. Keeping the horrors of communism in frame is the very least we can do.
> Why such a long queue?”...“Well,” sighs Marx, “Sometimes we’re out of oil, sometimes we don’t have
I've been immersed in shortages for the past two years (try to go buy a car for MSRP), why some UK paper is writing about some far away, long ago shortage I don't know (well actually I do know).
There are a few differences between you having to wait and a Soviet having to wait for a car multiple years:
* You most probably already have a car and just want a newer model. A Soviet citizen just had a bike.
* Soviet citizen had one or two models they could choose from. You have a plethora, some of which are probably more readily available than others.
Don't compare UK shortages with what the Eastern Bloc went through. They had people going to surgery without anesthesia. You'll manage with your existing car for a bit more.
The difference is mostly quantitative. In USSR you could buy a car if you were willing to pay over MSRP (which was mandatory rather than recommended). Simply buy a new car used. Reselling your car immediately after purchase for a profit was a thing.
Some people (occupations such as arctic coal miner) had financial means to do so easily. Other people (notably, engineers on non-management positions like most of HN readers today) would never realistically afford one.
The choice was indeed very limited. But again, it is mostly a quantitative difference.
Under Brexit, every family gets what they need. That's why Tesco puts a sign up that says "nobody needs groceries today."
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What did Great Britain use to light its homes with before using candles?
Electricity.
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Q: Why is Brexit superior to Europe?
A: Because it heroically overcomes problems that would not exist if we'd stayed in.
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At a party meeting, a Conservative party officer is drilling a local worker. He asks him: “Fellow Briton, if you had two houses, would you give one to the Conservative Party?”
The worker responds “Yes, definitely, fellow Briton, I would give one of my houses to the party!”
Then he asks “Fellow Briton, if you had two cars, would you give one to the party?”
Again, the worker says, “Yes, I would give one of my cars to the party!”
Finally, the officer asks, “If you had two shirts, would you give one to the party?”
“No!”
The officer asks “But why? Why won’t you give one of your shirts to the party?”
The worker says: “Because I HAVE two shirts!”
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A schoolboy wrote in his weekly essay: “My cat just had seven kittens. They’re all Brexiters.”
The following week, the boy wrote: “my cat’s kittens are all Remainers.”
The teacher called him up and asked him to explain the sudden change. “Last week, you said they were all Brexiters!”
The boy nodded. “They were, but this week they all opened their eyes.”
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A man walks into Sainsbury's. He asks the shop assistant, “You don’t have any meat?” The assistant says, “No, here we don’t have any fish. The counter that doesn’t have any meat is across the store.”
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A European fairy tale begins, "Once upon a time, there was...." A Brexit fairy tale begins, "Once we're through all of this, there will be...."
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Great Britain is the most progressive country in the world. Life was already better yesterday than it's going to be tomorrow.
Car market just shows you how quickly the consumer experience degrades in light of shortages.
Where you were previously offered bonuses and free stuff, now they would be insincere about what's in stock, how many does is actually cost, distribute the best stuff cost-wise among inner circle, try to shave a random extra amount of money from you.
As you can see you don't need any kind of especially corrupt souls once incentives are wrong.
"What American propaganda techniques?" asks the American.
"Exactly," the Russian replies.