I don't think I can, unfortunately :)
It's really a subjective evaluation, but I viscerally find GPT3's output here miles less interesting than Eliot. It needs to have some layers... or at least the appearance of having layers. Unexpected combinations of expressions and words.. yet unexpected in a way that they don't seem forced. It shouldn't be just rearranged prose. And it has to have a certain flow... when there isn't flow it has to be deliberate.
You can still like whatever poetry you like, I'm just telling you personal reaction. And even though I use some pretty loaded words like "trivial/banal", it's just how I'd describe my reaction. Not meant to be authoritative.
These lines by GPT3:
Let us go, through half-forgotten doorways,
To places we have never been before.
Let us explore the unknown, and find our way
To a place of peace and joy, and never stray.
Let us find a place of solace, and stay
Where we can be ourselves, and never fear.
The first line has potential. The second one feels slightly worse, but it could still be fine depending on what comes next.
Even the 3rd is still ok.. "explore the unknown" is a bit in a the danger zone, but it could easily be continued with something that completely justifies it.
Now this:
and find our way
To a place of peace and joy, and never stray.
I don't know, that just feels like a disappointing continuation. There's nothing unexpected about it, and it's an unoriginal sentiment said in a unoriginal way. It can be one or the other, but being both kills it for me. "peace and joy, and never stray" sounds like a forced rhyme and is a bit too saccharine without justification. And there just isn't much there.
Let us find a place of solace, and stay
Where we can be ourselves, and never fear.
The first line here is just reiterating, more or less, the previous line. Still boring. Nothing that would jolt you to attention. "Where we can be ourselves, and never fear" is more of the same, just even more unoriginal. "Be yourself" needs to have a lot more around it and be more cleverly woven into context to make it a good poem, IMO.
The rest of the poem just goes on in the same vein. Culminating in:
Let us find a place of contentment, and be
Forever happy, and never leave.
"Lets go somewhere nice and be ourselves and happy" said with a lot of generic ways.
As to your point:
To address your criticism: To be relatable poetry must be cliched, as it is about the human
experience. That is as cliche as it gets: it is about things everyone knows.
A poem can be about relatable things, I just thing it has to be crafted with more care than the GPT3 poem I posted appears to be. Again, this is mostly me rationalising my reaction... that is to say, I'm trying to put into words what is mostly an intuitive reaction.
Thank you for the detailed response! Given all of the context you give I can see why you could arrive at a conclusion that it is bad. You and the other post seem to agree it is (summarised by me, correct me if I misunderstood) about subverting expectation while still remaining relatable. It's cool in concept, but I think it just does not land for me.
The poem you linked seems very novel. I did not expect most of the wording, but it also did not make me feel anything. This is not a criticism, it is like that for all poetry I've ever read.
I suppose poetry is like all other media. I do enjoy books, shows and music. There the evaluation is much the same. It's about being novel and arriving at a point that is surprising, while not being contrived (e.g. if you could not possibly have figured out what happened given the priors). That does help me frame it. Thanks again :)
I'm glad my response was helpful in some way! And yeah, if it just doesn't land for you that's fine. :) To be honest, poetry kind of grew on me over time.
In a way I find poetry much more similar to music than to literature in the effect it has and how I perceive it.
Just wanted to add this reading of that poem. I find it brings it to life more. Not saying it's going to make you like it, but I think it can be more effective than just reading it. (Some would very much disagree with that though... including Eliot I think :D )
You can still like whatever poetry you like, I'm just telling you personal reaction. And even though I use some pretty loaded words like "trivial/banal", it's just how I'd describe my reaction. Not meant to be authoritative.
These lines by GPT3:
The first line has potential. The second one feels slightly worse, but it could still be fine depending on what comes next. Even the 3rd is still ok.. "explore the unknown" is a bit in a the danger zone, but it could easily be continued with something that completely justifies it.Now this:
I don't know, that just feels like a disappointing continuation. There's nothing unexpected about it, and it's an unoriginal sentiment said in a unoriginal way. It can be one or the other, but being both kills it for me. "peace and joy, and never stray" sounds like a forced rhyme and is a bit too saccharine without justification. And there just isn't much there. The first line here is just reiterating, more or less, the previous line. Still boring. Nothing that would jolt you to attention. "Where we can be ourselves, and never fear" is more of the same, just even more unoriginal. "Be yourself" needs to have a lot more around it and be more cleverly woven into context to make it a good poem, IMO.The rest of the poem just goes on in the same vein. Culminating in:
"Lets go somewhere nice and be ourselves and happy" said with a lot of generic ways.As to your point:
A poem can be about relatable things, I just thing it has to be crafted with more care than the GPT3 poem I posted appears to be. Again, this is mostly me rationalising my reaction... that is to say, I'm trying to put into words what is mostly an intuitive reaction.This is the original poem:
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/poems/44212/...
Tell me how you think it compares.