Your advice is the last sentence of the article ;)

Am I missing a pop culture reference? Last sentence reads, "Get a job. You numpty." I take that as get a job doing something else. I don't think it unreasonable to train for the job you want.

You should have read the whole article, "get a job" is a continuation of paragraph 8 (if any).

It says "Get a job." It doesn't say "Get a job doing something else."

It also doesn't say, "Get a job under a chef as a prep cook." Whereas, above in paragraph 5 he explicitly says to do anything except cook. For me to assume the concluding "Get a job" is a continuation of the theme set forth in "do something else - anything except the job you’re not qualified to do which is to cook" seems reasonable.

Right. Because he's not telling you to get a job under a chef as a prep cook.

He's telling you to get a job.

He's not telling you to get a job doing something else, though he would be cool with that.

He's telling you to get a job.