Please, don't take this as a personal judgment! I don't know you, I'm just judging what's written here.
> kids activities have to go on a back burner ... I see no reason to place childrens non-needs above critical family infrastructure
This comes across as pretty callous toward your children's development! Social interactions with family are needs for children, too.
It sounds like you chose to go off and build a house unnecessarily and ignored the labor of raising your children to do it, which a lot of people would find pretty irresponsible. So as a rebuttal to someone else saying they can't make the time, because they have work and kids, I think it functions better as an argument against doing what you did. If buying an already-built home wasn't a realistic option for you, that would be very important context here.
We didn't have a home and the money I saved for a home went from being able to buy a nice house in the city to not even being able to buy a trailer in a wasteland after the COVID free interest fest. Now all those homes are locked up in rates no one will give up for less than a kings ransom.
I can assure you DIY a house was not even on my radar of life plans.
Ultimately only one option remained, buy land in a place without building codes and then build without a license. Took me awhile to find the loophole, but I executed it. I built a house for only $60k in a state where a burnt out trailer is now $150k.
1) Negative interest rates exploded prices anything eligible for mortgage. Deduction: must not buy property eligible for traditional mortgage.
2) GC and contractors exploded prices to match weak competition. Deduction: must not have someone else build house.
3) Zoning laws make small homes illegal. Deduction: must find place with weak zoning.
4) Trades licensing, codes, and inspection make DIY impossible while holding regular job. Deduction must find place without inspections or required licensing for owner builder at any point.
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Criteria:
Must buy raw land ineligible for mortgage, must do it in in a place with weak zoning, codes, and inspection and still be near jobs.
The loophole was totally avoiding every competitive expensive pathway and bypassing it by not competing with people fueled by free debt and not being beholden to the zoning and planning cartels. Doing that is a difficult tightrope to walk.
> kids activities have to go on a back burner ... I see no reason to place childrens non-needs above critical family infrastructure
This comes across as pretty callous toward your children's development! Social interactions with family are needs for children, too.
It sounds like you chose to go off and build a house unnecessarily and ignored the labor of raising your children to do it, which a lot of people would find pretty irresponsible. So as a rebuttal to someone else saying they can't make the time, because they have work and kids, I think it functions better as an argument against doing what you did. If buying an already-built home wasn't a realistic option for you, that would be very important context here.