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I recommend The Way of the Superior Man (http://www.amazon.com/Way-Superior-Man-Spiritual-Challenges/...). My roommate lent it to me after an ugly breakup. The title is a little silly (I certainly wouldn't describe myself as "spiritual") and I don't agree with every word of it, but after reading this book I finally felt like I understood women and relationships, and I met my now-wife a few months after reading it. I doubt I would have gotten her without it.


I've just read half of it & I'll probably end up finishing it because it's so interesting. But I really dislike the implication that leadership skills (purpose, reliability, equanimity) are intrinsically male, while childishness is intrinsically female. At least now I know what type of women to avoid.


It is a bit more complicated than that, which doesn't become clear in Way of the Superior Man. I read almost all of Deida's books and liked them a lot, but they all have the downside of too much spiritual babble and being a bit too abstract like "giving your deepest gift". What does that even mean?

Thing is - and this becomes more clear in his other books - men and women both have similar skills, but both have a TENDENCY to feel more comfortable in a specific skill set.

So, on the one hand I love Deida's advice. It is oftentimes on the spot. Very clear and even actionable at times. But on the other hand, it oftentimes is also too abstract, too simple, or too black-and-white. It almost feels like he's describing his favorite action movie star and if you read it that way, you can get the impression that he describes film heroes (super clear purpose, cannot be distracted, live on your edge). While a film hero can be an inspiration, it is oftentimes still a heavily simplified character.


I have to second this book. It helped put me back together like no one's advice could, after I went through a bad breakup.




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