What you did say, and are saying, is that it's banter. You then go on to give qualified examples of banter that apply to the other gender ("don't (usually) get rape threats"; "do get death threats"; "do get comments that they're 'fat', 'dorky'"). Whether you intended to draw the equivalency or not, that's what your phrasing achieved.
Secondly, I agree. I don't believe it's constrained to women, but at the same time I don't think the volume or impact is the same when it's thrown at men. A few per month is, apparently a very low volume ("Feminine usernames incurred an average of 100 sexually explicit or threatening messages a day. Masculine names received 3.7"[1] -- although I need to find the actual study).
This isn't a topic I particularly enjoy discussing. I'm not in a position to speak for those who are threatened, and there are myriad reasons and subtleties why I'll never truly understand their plight. I'm sorry you feel like you were misunderstood.
Secondly, I agree. I don't believe it's constrained to women, but at the same time I don't think the volume or impact is the same when it's thrown at men. A few per month is, apparently a very low volume ("Feminine usernames incurred an average of 100 sexually explicit or threatening messages a day. Masculine names received 3.7"[1] -- although I need to find the actual study).
This isn't a topic I particularly enjoy discussing. I'm not in a position to speak for those who are threatened, and there are myriad reasons and subtleties why I'll never truly understand their plight. I'm sorry you feel like you were misunderstood.
[1]: http://www.psmag.com/navigation/health-and-behavior/women-ar...