An insider can make any comments they like about an outsider (up to the point where the comments themselves become problematic to other insiders), but an outsider cannot say anything negative about the group or any of its members without being perceived as attacking the group and all of its members.

Basic in-group/out-group dynamics.

No, that I get and understand. I meant, why is she in the out-group? Or, more precisely, how do you know she is in the out-group?