I think it just comes down to different personalities. I'm just like you. I tend to get agitated when people try to sandwich their criticisms or compliment me for irrelevant things when I just want them to get to the point. I'd very much prefer someone just telling me "your code is shitty and here is how you'd fix it and why." Unfortunately, people that take criticisms like us seem to be in the minority.
That's why I personally declare Crocker's rules[0] - if you want to tell me something, I allow you to skip pleasantries and "social hacks", and just get straight to the point.
The trouble is: that's not how humans work. Including ones who push Crocker's rule. Personalising negative comments is how human brains work.
Remember: knowing a bias exists doesn't make it go away, at all.
In my experience, the sort of person who professes a love of unvarnished communication is someone heavily into sending it - the same people reliably hit the roof whenever they receive it.
Public relations is 50% of the job, even if you're bad at public relations. There are no quick hacks to make that go away, 'cos if there were then everyone would already be using them.
